Confidence. i don’t believe in confidence. once you have confidence in anything, confidence just comes and kicks you right back in the face. yes, people say “oh no, that’s over confidence.” but no. i think there’s such a thin line between confidence and over confidence that there may as well not be a line at all. once you are confident, you’re over confident. once you’re over confident, you get complacent. once you are complacent, your whole world just crumbles to pieces at your feet. it works that way. i’ve tried it. i’ve learnt to have no confidence at all.

what goes up, must come down. this is my low. the lowest low i’ve ever, in my life, fallen to.

something’s definitely wrong with me – i failed GP.

yes, i need that BURNED into my brain. i failed GP. General paper or also known as English, the only language i have left. and i failed that too.

really, what on earth do i have left?

mortified, apalled, disguested...i don’t even know what to say because there are no words to sum up how horrified i am with myself. then again, i’m horrible in english aren’t i?

i know and i appreciate all the cheering up and consolation. thanks. i know other people failed too and all that stuff. but no one can beat me in failing man. seriously. i got SIX fails, FOUR U grades, failed english and maths for the first time in my entire life, came in bottom in class for FOUR subjects, my teachers hate me and i hate myself.

so i think i DESERVE to be depressed.

and i’ve long run out of reasons to look forward to school. i can’t wait to get out of here.

hah, and does money buy happiness? BIG JOKE. i think that little amount of happiness that money can give you is sure as hell not worth all the toil we go through just to get it. it’s like chasing a rainbow. it never ends and even if you manage to reach the end of it, you’ll realise, there’s nothing there.

happiness comes from elsewhere. love, family, friends, fun, passion... so why on earth are we working ourselves to death chasing that stupid endless rainbow?